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    January 11th, 2012EthelCosta Rica, Entertainment, Humor
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    Qué MagazineIf you live in the Potrero/Flamingo/Tamarindo area, you no doubt are aware of Qué Magazine. If you’re visiting, make sure you pick up a free copy, which can be found at almost every bar, restaurant, rental car office, etc., etc. The “news” articles are hilarious, as are the photos and “fake”ads (which are not likely to be mistaken for the real ads).

    An article, concerning a business called “Grand Opening Liquidations”, in the most recent issue of the magazine, struck me as particularly funny:

    In the fall of 2009, Yuri and Sasha Karminov relocated from Moscow to Guanacaste, Costa Rica. At first the brothers struggled to find a niche in the Gold Coast market, dabbling for a time in a variety of misadventures which included restaurants, fishing charters, eco-tourism, surf shops, and so forth. It would seem that the more they tried, the more they realized the difficulties in growing a profitable tourism dependent business. They watched their life savings slowly being flushed down the drain, until one day Yuri had an epiphany of sorts: “The one thing that seems to be in constant supply here is available spaces to rent, and people willing to sell someone else on the dream life here in paradise.”

    Just weeks later the two brothers opened Grand Opening Liquidations (“GOL”). “The sad truth is that business is tough, and in this area it’s tougher than a St. Petersburg meatcutter,” said Yuri. Most people will fail; unfortunately, these same people will refuse to see the writing on the wall until most, if not all, of their life savings have been dumped into a business that couldn’t help but fail. Lack of people, market share, finances, etc., all contribute to this problem. Thankfully Yuri and Sasha have found a solution!

    “We help each other,” as Sasha likes to say. “It’s easy. When you decide to start a business here, we will do all the leg work; including finding you that not so ideal location, then paying too much for it. We then will begin to buy all the necessary supplies to start your not so unique idea. Once we have got everything in place, we set a date. And here is where the magic starts. Instead of wasting countless days and endless sleepless nights worrying about why your ideas isn’t working, you can go to beach, learn surf, fish, drink, party, ruin a marriage or two, and have good times. We will have a grand opening and a liquidation sale of your business at same time! This way you don’t have to loose all your money, just most of it. We expedite your life here so you can return to wherever you came from before anyone even misses you. Many of our clients still have enough money for Honda Civic and a deposit on a condo when they leave. Believe you me, taking the guess work out of your failure will save you a small, or perhaps large, fortune.”

    Many of you are wondering, can it really be this easy? The answer is, yes. Currently Grand Opening Liquidations has a full schedule of “High Season” grand closures, but their staff can always get you ready for a September or October failure. These typically are less expensive because GOL can piggy back your new venture with a current client’s departure.

    In the fall, Grand Opening Liquidations will be expanding into brokering bad land deals; which will include land you won’t actually own, land with no water rights, infra-structure problems, and property in high theft areas. Please don’t sit back and watch your dreams go up in smoke, when Grand Opening Liquidations can watch the smoke for you.

    I encourage the good people at Qué Magazine to keep up the good work, and I encourage everyone in the area to pick up a copy of the magazine, support the advertisers therein, and buy advertising if you are a local business. (It would be a shame if Qué Magazine had to employ the services of Yuri and Sasha!)

    Take $15 off your order of $75 or more at AccessoryGeeks.com with code AGEEK1575 now through January 31st!

    Get $10 off any order of $50 or more at AccessoryGeeks.com with Code: AGEEK1050. Now until January 31st!

    Get a Western Digital Elements 3TB USB 2.0 Desktop External Hard Drive – Refurbished for $139.99 at Buy.com, a $50 Savings! Valid through 01/15/2012

      Did you know this: The stall closest to the door in a public restroom is the cleanest, because it is the least used. . . .Now you do!

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      Don’t miss this great event!

      Holiday in Paradise

        Did you know this: The stall closest to the door in a public restroom is the cleanest, because it is the least used. . . .Now you do!

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        November 23rd, 2011EthelCosta Rica, Entertainment, Humor
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        Yesterday, DVDVideoSoft.com released Free Studio Version 5.3. It is possibly the best free suite of software applications ever available (right up there with OpenOffice.org)

        Studio Manager

        This new version of Studio Manager is a completely redesigned all-in-one package for all the company’s applications. It contains eight sections to bundle all free multimedia applications which have been developed by DVDVideoSoft. These sections are as follows: YouTube, MP3&Audio, CD-DVD-BD, DVD&Video, Photo&Images, Mobiles, Apple Devices, 3D. Thus all the programs are included in the new interface for easy access to any of them.

        With this free software you can convert video and audio files between different formats and to iPod, PSP, iPhone, BlackBerry and all popular mobile phones and devices; burn and rip DVDs and audio CDs; upload and download YouTube videos and music to your computer, iPod, PSP, iPhone and BlackBerry; perform basic editing of audio and video files as well as record videos and make snapshots.

        Free Studio contains no spyware or adware. It’s completely free and absolutely safe to install and run.

        This is what you get:

        Free YouTube Download
        Free YouTube to MP3 Converter
        Free YouTube to iPod and PSP Converter
        Free YouTube to iPhone Converter
        Free YouTube to DVD Converter
        Free YouTube Uploader
        Free Uploader for Facebook

        Free Video to Android Converter
        Free Video to Apple TV Converter
        Free Video to BlackBerry Converter
        Free Video to HTC Phones Converter
        Free Video to iPad Converter
        Free Video to iPod Converter
        Free Video to iPhone Converter
        Free Video to LG Phones Converter
        Free Video to Motorola Phones Converter
        Free Video to Nintendo Converter
        Free Video to Nokia Phones Converter
        Free Video to Samsung Phones Converter
        Free Video to Sony Phones Converter
        Free Video to Sony Playstation Converter
        Free Video to Sony PSP Converter
        Free Video to Xbox Converter

        Free DVD Video Converter
        Free Video to DVD Converter
        Free Video to Flash Converter
        Free 3GP Video converter
        Free Video to MP3 Converter
        Free Video to JPG Converter
        Free Audio Converter
        Free Audio to Flash Converter
        Free WebM Video converter

        Free DVD Video Burner
        Free Disc Burner
        Free Audio CD Burner
        Free Audio CD to MP3 Converter

        Free Screen Video Recorder
        Free Image Convert and Resize
        Free Video Dub
        Free Audio Dub
        Free Video Flip and Rotate

        Free 3D Photo Maker
        Free 3D Video Maker

        You can download the suite HERE.

        ____________________________________________________________________________

        Get your tickets now for the Beachnuts Theatre Company’s production of “Scrooge: A Christmas Carol” which will be presented this Thursday, Friday and Saturday (November 24, 25 and 26) at the Tamarindo Diria Amphitheatre. It’s a perfect way to start off the holiday season.

        scrooge poster

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        Here’s a video of an amazing magic performance that a reader emailed to me. It’s amazing:

        _____________________________________________________________________________

        Photo of the day (especially for those of you planning a pick-nick for your Thanksgiving meal):

        pick-nick

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        And, lastly, something to ponder:

        Jeopardy Backwards

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        Hey . . . are you looking for a new job or career? Check out http://newjobopportunities.info/

        Maybe you’re looking for a good deal on airfare, a hotel, a cruise, a rental car . . . ? Try Kitty Malone Travel.

        Do you want to know more about Costa Rica? Go to WelcomeToCostaRica.info, or see what people are tweeting about Costa Rica at TweetCostaRica.com.

        Are you interested in wine, wine-making, wine accessories, entertaining for the holidays (or even getting red wine stains off of your teeth!). . . check out Elm Twig Wine Informer.

        Save The Trees is very popular among those who are concerned about tree conservation (and everyone should be!)

          Did you know this: The stall closest to the door in a public restroom is the cleanest, because it is the least used. . . .Now you do!

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          November 18th, 2011EthelCurrent Affairs, Entertainment
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          I don’t intend to comment on the private lives of Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore . . . or anyone else for that matter. It’s none of my business.

          Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher

          However, some profound “words of wisdom” have been recently been tweeted by them (or their staff of social media spin-doctors). These are not their own words . . . they have been plagiarized from other sources . . . and I will now plagiarize them for you here:

          Demi tweeted:

          When we are offended at any man’s fault, turn to yourself & study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger. – Epictetus

          Kutcher made reference to another Web blog post, entitled “30 Truths I’ve Learned in 30 Years” – specifically Truth No. 9:

          Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason.

          I think it is worthwhile to post all 30 “Truths”, so here they are:

          1. There comes a point in life when you get tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix everything, but it’s not giving up. It’s realizing you don’t need certain people and things and the drama they bring.

          2. If a person wants to be a part of your life they will make an obvious effort to do so. Don’t bother reserving a space in your heart for people who do not make an effort to stay.

          3. If you want to fly, you have to give up the things that weigh you down – which is not always as obvious and easy as it sounds.

          4. Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.

          5. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You don’t fail by falling down. You fail by never getting back up. Sometimes you just have to forget how you feel, remember what you deserve, and keep pushing forward.

          6.When you get to know people with different ethnic backgrounds, from different cities and countries, who live at various socioeconomic levels, you begin to realize that everyone basically wants the same things. They want validation, love, happiness, fulfillment and hopes for a better future. The way they pursue these desires is where things branch off, but the fundamentals are the same. You can relate to almost everyone everywhere if you look past the superficial facades that divide us.

          7. The more things you own, the more your things own you. Less truly gives you more freedom. Read The Joy of Less.

          8. While you’re busy looking for the perfect person, you’ll probably miss the imperfect person who could make you perfectly happy. This is as true for friendships as it is for intimate relationships. Finding a companion or a friend isn’t about trying to transform yourself into the perfect image of what you think they want. It’s about being exactly who you are and then finding someone who appreciates that.

          9. Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason.

          10. Making a thousand friends is not a miracle. A miracle is making one friend who will stand by your side when thousands are against you.

          11. Someone will always be better looking. Someone will always be smarter. Someone will always be more charismatic. But they will never be you – with your exact ideas, knowledge and skills.

          12. Making progress involves risk. Period. You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.

          13. Every morning you are faced with two choices: You can aimlessly stumble through the day not knowing what’s going to happen and simply react to events at a moment’s notice, or you can go through the day directing your own life and making your own decisions and destiny. Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

          14. Everyone makes mistakes. If you can’t forgive others, don’t expect others to forgive you. To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you.

          15. It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.

          16. We sometimes do things that are permanently foolish just because we are temporarily upset. A lot of heartache can be avoided if you learn to control your emotions.

          17. Someone else doesn’t have to be wrong for you to be right. There are many roads to what’s right. You cannot judge others by your own past. They are living a different life than you. What might be good for one person may not be good for another. What might be bad for one person might change another person’s life for the better. You have to allow people to make their own mistakes and their own decisions.

          18. Nobody is perfect, and nobody deserves to be perfect. Nobody has it easy. You never know what people are going through. Every one of us has issues. So don’t belittle yourself or anyone else. Everybody is fighting their own unique war.

          19. A smile doesn’t always mean a person is happy. Sometimes it simply means they are strong enough to face their problems.

          20. The happiest people I know keep an open mind to new ideas and ventures, use their leisure time as a means of mental development, and love good music, good books, good pictures, good company and good conversation. And oftentimes they are also the cause of happiness in others – me in particular.

          21. You can’t take things too personally. Rarely do people do things because of you. They do things because of them.

          22. Feelings change, people change, and time keeps rolling. You can hold on to past mistakes or you can create your own happiness. A smile is a choice, not a miracle. True happiness comes from within. Don’t make the mistake of waiting on someone or something to come along and make you happy.

          23. It’s much harder to change the length of your life than it is to change the depth of it.

          24. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

          25. When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you.

          26. One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else.

          27. Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. Read The Book of Awesome.

          28. Anyone can make a difference. Making one person smile can change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world.

          29. Everything is a life lesson. Everyone you meet, everything you encounter, etc. They’re all part of the learning experience we call ‘life.’ Never forget to acknowledge the lesson, especially when things don’t go your way. If you don’t get a job that you wanted or a relationship doesn’t work, it only means something better is out there waiting. And the lesson you just learned is the first step towards it.

          30. Regardless of how filthy your past has been, your future is still spotless. Don’t start your day with the broken pieces of yesterday. Every day is a fresh start. Each day is a new beginning. Every morning we wake up is the first day of the rest of our life.

            Did you know this: The stall closest to the door in a public restroom is the cleanest, because it is the least used. . . .Now you do!

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            November 13th, 2011EthelCurrent Affairs, Entertainment, Humor
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            Kim, congrats on dropping 236 extra pounds in 72 days

            For those of you who missed the Saturday Night Live sketch, here it is:

              Did you know this: The stall closest to the door in a public restroom is the cleanest, because it is the least used. . . .Now you do!

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              November 11th, 2011EthelCosta Rica, Entertainment
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              Beachnuts Theatre Company, in conjunction with Amigos de la Educación (a non-profit organization supporting quality education and scholarships for students and teachers, from kindergarten through university in the canton of Santa Cruz, Guanacaste) is presenting “Scrooge: A Christmas Carol” at the Dira Amphitheatre, November 24, 25 and 26, 2011.

              Don’t expect just a retelling of the classic Dickens’ “Christmas Carol” . . . this will be an “off-beat” performance, full of humor, music and fun!

              If you were lucky enough to catch any of Beachnuts’ earlier productions (“The Wizard of Oz”, “Snow White”, “Peter Pan”, etc.), you know what a treat these plays are. (I encourage you to buy your tickets as soon as possible, as the shows usually sell out).

              Tickets are $15 for adults and $10 for children and students. They are available from several sources, including Jaime Peligro Books in Tamarindo, and Cafe Mocha (in Paseo del Mar, between Huacas and Conchal).

              Doors open and 6:30 and showtime is 7:00 pm, each of the three nights.

              I was invited to attend a rehearsal and I can tell you that the play (which features some actors from prior productions, as well as some amazing new talent) will be a great, fun way to get the holiday season off to a start!

              See you there!

              Scrooge

              Welcome To Costa Rica

                Did you know this: The stall closest to the door in a public restroom is the cleanest, because it is the least used. . . .Now you do!

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                October 27th, 2011EthelEntertainment
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                Try this:

                Check out this “Flash Sale” site: HERE, which can join HERE

                  Did you know this: The stall closest to the door in a public restroom is the cleanest, because it is the least used. . . .Now you do!

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                  October 25th, 2011EthelEntertainment, Humor, Politics
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                  Do you understand what the “Occupy Wall Street” protesters are protesting? I wasn’t completely sure until I saw this edifying video:

                  All seriousness aside, the next time you’re bored and have nothing better to do, go to a pubic place, get out your cell phone, don’t turn it on, but speak into it like the guy in this video… Click on the cell phone below and see what I mean…


                    Did you know this: The stall closest to the door in a public restroom is the cleanest, because it is the least used. . . .Now you do!

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                    October 7th, 2011EthelEntertainment, Internet, Technology
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                    NetflixBlockbusterI have been a big fan of Netflix for months . . . all this price upgrade controvery is, as far as I’m concerned, a “tempest in a teapot”. The real value of Netflix is the streaming video; I don’t want to physically receive and return DVDs in the mail . . . how primative! It’s 2011! I want streaming video on demand on my iPad, computer, whatever. (If you want DVDs physically mailed to you . . . what us wrong with you?) join us in the modern world!

                    A probem with Netflix is that it is presently unavailable in Costa Rica . . . the content is even different in other countries, such as Canada.

                    (Apparently, there are services that trick your system so that it looks like your Internet feed is coming from the USA, but I haven’t tried them).

                    Today, I was informed that Blockbuster’s catalogue of movies, tv shows, etc. was available to DishNetwork subscribers for $10 per month. There is a lot of overlap with Netfix . . . but I’m still testing to see if the service is available outside of the USA . . . specifically Costa Rica.

                    So far, however, I am disappointed in the fact that all movies and tv shows on Blockbuster online are full of advertisements! . . . Why am I paying $10 per month – plus being subjected to advertisements?

                    Thus far, I’m a big fan of Netflix’s streaming service . . . but “the jury is still out” on the Dish/Blockbuster service. Right now, I’m thinking that NetFlix is all I need . . . but I’ll report further as I’ll report in the future.

                      Did you know this: The stall closest to the door in a public restroom is the cleanest, because it is the least used. . . .Now you do!

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                      September 21st, 2011EthelBooks, Entertainment, Humor
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                      Regina Barreca, Ph.D., in an article in Psychology Today, entitled “Snow White Doesn’t Live Here Anymore – Laughter, Pleasure, Malice, and the Pursuit of Adult Fun”, lists 30 books that she finds “very funny” . . . so funny that they make her laugh until her “mascara starts to run”.

                      Dr. Barreca says, “These are books to read over your first cup of coffee or just before you go to sleep. Remember: a day you’ve laughed is day you haven’t wasted–even if you didn’t get out of bed.”

                      Regina BarrecaGina Barreca, Ph.D., is Professor of English at the University of Connecticut, author of It’s Not That I’m Bitter: How I Learned to Stop Worrying About Visible Panty Lines and Conquered the World (St. Martin’s Press), and has appeared on 20/20, The Today Show, CNN, Joy Behar, Dr. Phil, and Oprah to discuss gender, power, politics, popular culture, and humor.

                      Here is her list:

                      1. Cold Comfort Farm
                      by Stella Gibbons

                      2. Three Men in a Boat and Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
                      by Jerome K. Jerome

                      3. But Enough About You and If You Can’t Live Without Me, Why Aren’t You Dead Yet?
                      by Cynthia Heimel

                      4. The Sylvia Chronicles
                      by Nicole Hollander

                      5. When Do They Serve the Wine?
                      by Liza Donnelly

                      6. In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash and Wanda Hickey’s Night of Golden Memories
                      by Jean Shepard

                      7. How I Got To Be Perfect
                      by Jean Kerr

                      8. The World According to Dave Barry or anything else written
                      by Dave Barry

                      9. Heartburn
                      by Nora Ephron

                      10. Without Feathers
                      by Woody Allen

                      11. The Life and Loves of a She-Devil
                      by Fay Weldon

                      12. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
                      by Anita Loos

                      13. The Complete Stories of Dorothy Parker
                      by Dorothy Parker

                      14. With Malice Towards Some
                      by Margaret Halsey

                      15. Molly Ivins Can’t Say That, Can She?
                      by Molly Ivins

                      16. The Best of Robert Benchley or anything else written
                      by Robert Benchley

                      17. How to Raise Your I.Q. By Eating Gifted Children
                      by Lewis Burke Frumkes

                      18. Social Studies and Metropolitan Life
                      by Fran Lebowitz

                      19. A Marriage Made in Heaven–or Too Tired for an Affair and
                      I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression

                      by Erma Bombeck

                      20. City Boy
                      by Herman Wouk

                      21. The Loved One
                      by Evelyn Waugh

                      22. Catcher in the Rye
                      by J.D. Salinger

                      23. Brain Droppings
                      by George Carlin

                      24. Help! I’m a Prisoner in a Chinese Bakery! and
                      Whoever Owns His Own Home, Deserves It

                      by Alan King

                      25. The Hypochondriac’s Guide To Life. And Death.
                      By Gene Weingarten

                      26. The Queen and I
                      by Sue Townshend

                      27. Not Waving, But Drowning and
                      A Good Time Was Had by All

                      by Stevie Smith

                      28. Small World
                      by David Lodge

                      29. The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe
                      by Jane Wagner

                      30. Is Sex Necessary?
                      by James Thurber and E.B. White

                      I must admit that I have not read all of these books . . . and although I agree that the Woody Allen, George Carlin and Robert Benchley books, among some others, are very funny, I can’t see myself laughing until my mascara runs whilst reading Catcher in the Rye.

                      Here are some books that I thought were truly funny:

                      These are just the ones that immediately came to mind . . . and, yes, I realize that they are not great examples of “literature”; however, they are truly funny!

                      It would be great if you would add a comment to this post and share with us the books that you think are very funny.

                        Did you know this: The stall closest to the door in a public restroom is the cleanest, because it is the least used. . . .Now you do!

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