I’m watching the Philadelphia Flyers play the Pittsburgh Penguins on the Slingbox App on my iPad.  (Thanks, again, Doug and Monica in Calgary).  It’s a Canadian broadcast, of course, and I just love the “lingo” that the Canadian announcers use. If you’re from any other English-speaking country, you wouldn’t know what was being said, half of the time, eh.

I decided to compile a list of “Canadian Hockey-isms”, to help out those who don’t understand what’s going on (and those who want a chuckle or two).

Here goes:

• “apple” or “helper” – an assist
• “apple sauce” -  a beauty of a pass for a goal, a great assist
• “one-timer” – a shot that occurs when a player meets a teammate’s pass with an immediate slapshot, without any attempt to control the puck on his stick
• “gino”, “geno” or “grape” – goal
• “twig” or “lumber” – hockey stick
• “snipe” – nice goal from a shot
• “dangle” – making your opponent look silly by deking him out. (Lately i’ve been hearing the “dangle” being replaced by the “McDandgle” (referring to McLovin from “Superbad”)
• “The Show” – The NHL
• “sauce” – saucer pass (comes off the ice and goes back down with minimal or no bounce)
• “goon” – fighter/dirty player
• “sieve” – poor goal-tender
• “gongshow” – a mess (can refer to a game, team, or specific player)
• “clapper” – slap shot
• “danglesauce” – deking out an opponent combined with a saucer pass
• “paraphernalia” – goalie equipment
• “whoa … he put some mustard on that one!” – I think you can figure that one out
• “used him like a rented goalie” – scoring and making a goalie look really bad one on one
• “putting the biscuit in the basket” – scoring a goal
• “he’s got the puck on a string” – fancy stick-handling
• “shorty” – short handed goal (or Martin St. Louis)
• “bag of pucks” – the universal trade value of a washed up or useless player
• “jockstrap” – what someone who can really “dangle” will “deke” you out of unless you “stand him up” at the blue line or “take him into the boards”
• “top shelf” – high on the goal net (to “roof it” is to score in the “top shelf”)
• “hat trick” – three goals scored by the same player in one game (culminates with fans throwing hats onto the ice from the stands)
• “natural hat trick” – three consecutive goals scored by the same player in one game
• “Gordie Howe hat trick” or “Gordie Howetrick” – a goal, an assist and a fight all in one game
• “Mario Lemieux hat trick” – receiving radiation treatment for Hodgkin’s lymphoma the day of the game, and then scoring a goal and an assist that night
• “ultimate hat trick”, “quintella”, “Texas Hat Trick”, or “Lemieux Cycle” – a powerplay, short handed, even strength, penalty shot, and an empty net goal. (Mario Lemieux is the only player to score the “quintella” in NHL history)
• “rat trick” – ridding the locker room of an unwanted rat with a hockey stick, and then scoring a pair of goals later that night.  (Bonus trivia: The “rat trick” was only performed once by the Florida Panthers’ Scott Mellanby, in 1995. When Mellanby scored a hat trick in a later game, some fans threw plastic rats on the ice, a tradition that continued for all Panthers’ goals throughout the 1996 playoffs. Because of the resulting game delays, the league eventually banned this activity and modified Rule 63 to impose a minor penalty against the home team for a violation)
• “Legwand hat trick” – in 2009 by notching a goal, assist and becoming a father, all on the same day
• “lay the lumber on ‘em” – to slash or cross-check someone (using your stick)
• “slewfoot” – to trip someone using your stick or feet to sweep or kick their skates our from underneath them
• “answer the bell, drop-em, dance, tango, tangle, scrap” – fight (what you might be called to do if you slewfoot or lay the lumber on someone)
• “hat”, “lid” or “bucket” – helmet
• “turtle” – to hunch up on the ice to avoid a fight
• “sin bin” – penalty box
• “dipsee-do” – a fancy move/deke
• “kabong” – hit
• “bender” – a player who sucks
• “grocery stick” – the guy who doesn’t play a whole lot (or “rides the bench/pine”)
• “cheese” – top shelf goal
• “oven mitts” – a player who is is struggling with shooting and scoring
• “suitcase” – player who gets traded to many teams in his career
• “bread basket” – goalies chest on a shot (“he shot it right in the bread basket”)
• “coast to coast” – skating one end of the ice to the other while carrying the puck the whole way”soft hands” – a sniper or a player great at dekes”backstop” – goalie”blue liner” – defenceman

• “holes one through five”  – when a goaltender stands in the net in the ready position, there are five open areas that the goalie must cover. They are:

• glove side, high: this area is defined by the goaltender’s arm and catcher on the bottom, mask on the inside, and the post and top of the goal on the outside.
• glove side, low: this area is defined by the goaltender’s arm and catcher on the top, the ice on the bottom, and the outside post of the goal. During a butterfly-style save, this area is closed off completely and the catcher is typically stacked on top of the leg pad as the leg is extended to cover the post.
• stick side, high: this area is defined by the goal post, top of the goal, and the goalie’s arm and blocker. The top half of the goaltender’s stick is held in this area, but is not commonly used for stopping the puck.
• stick side, low: this area is the lower half of the stick side, defined by the blocker and arm, the ice, and the outer post of the goal. During a butterfly save this area is also covered by the leg pad with the blocker stacked on top to protect against low shots. When a goaltender is standing, the paddle of their stick is used to cover this area and to deflect the puck away from the net.
• “five hole”: the fifth and final area is between the goalie’s leg pads and skates. This area is protected by the blade of the stick at all times, and is closed up by the upper leg pads when the goalie is in the butterfly position.

• “breezers” – pants (I don’t know why I left this one in here. I grew up in Saskatchewan, and not once did I hear pants called “breezers”.  It must be an Easter Canadian thing . . . to me it sounds like the pants you might wear in the “Ice Capades”
• “pillows” – goalie pads
• “fisticuffs” or “dropping the mits” – to fight
• “a Jonathon” – a toe-drag deke

Here’s one of my favorite players, Martin St. Louis, performing a beautiful “toe drag” move:

• “light the lamp” – score a goal
• “meat wagon” – a player whose only skill is fighting or hitting
• “plug” – a player who is useless
• “ripple the twine” or “ripple the mesh” – score a goal
• “decked”: received a huge hit
• “smashed” – checked
• “crunched” – hit”
• Selby” – a cry baby/poor loser/poor sport
• “stacking the pads” – a goalie save formation (a desperation move in which the goaltender slides feet-first, with legs together (and consequently, “stacked”), across the crease, attempting to cover as much space as possible
• “stripes” or “zebra” – referee
• Barry Melrose, ESPN hockey guru (whom I sat beside in high school) once said “Ohhh looky looky, Tkatchuck’s got a cookie……Tkatching!”, when Keith Tkatchuck scored a goal
• “cycle” -  a system of passing where the players move in a circular rotation to give and recieve the pass
• “slot” or “kitchen” – the area in front of the net
• “barn” – arena
• “stay-at-home defenceman” – a defenceman who doesn’t stray much further beyond the opponent’s blue line
• “putting on the foil” – what a goon does to prepare to fight
• “rip”, “bullet”, “blister”, “blast” “laser”, “rocket” – a good shot
• “barcode” – imprint from a fist on someone’s face
• “chicklet” – knocked out tooth
• “wrister” – a wrist shot
• “ya f**kin’ superstar!” – an insult yelled at opposing players from the bench
• “grinder” or “mucker” – a player who works hard every shift (not necessarily any “fancy” stuff – just hard work)
• “ridin’ the pine” – sitting on the bench or sideline during a game, but a member of the team
• “ditch pig” – ugly female that hunts for hockey players outside of bars and arenas
• “puck bunnies” – hockey player “groupies”
• “dummied” – to have beat/completely annihilated the other team so badly that it was like you were facing a non-living mannequin
• “flow” – hair that flows out the back of someone’s helmet and curls up around the back of the helmet. (One can have a flow or be flowin’ (Also, long, curly or wavy hair)
• “sick flow” – skating fast and looking like your just floating on the ice (watch some old video of Guy LaFleur)
• “bag skates” – hockey practices where players are forced to do repetitive skating drills until they are exhausted, or have “skated their bags off”. It’s often used as punishment for an under-performing team
• “dusters – those unfortunate players who usually only step on the ice with 14 seconds to go when your team was initially down 4-2, but gave up an empty-netter to make it 5-2. The coach finally calls the “dusters” number and does so in a way that the duster feels like he is finally getting an opportunity to showcase the talent he doesn’t really possess. Why the term duster? Cause this plug has been sitting on the bench the entire game . . . collecting dust.  Always the worst player on the team
• “bad jibs” – bad teeth (chipped, missing, etc. from playing hockey)

• “paddle” – The thick part of the goaltender’s stick, not to be confused with the blade; the blade should remain flat on the ice as often as possible
• “metallurgy save” – when the puck hits the pipe or crossbar, but doesn’t go in the net
• “goaltender’s best friend” – the pipe or crossbar (when the puck hits and makes that sound and goes wide, its telling you, ‘you screwed up and need to do better’ in it’s own loud way; its typically a mistake that you are immediately forgiven for)

However, a puck hitting the pipe doesn’t always mean a save.  “Bar down” is the term for scoring off the crossbar. Watch this video of a classic “bar down” and listen for the biscuit hitting the pipe:

This list is far from complete. Please share your “hockey slang” with me in a comment to this post.

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